I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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