So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
