Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
