i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
