It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
