Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
