you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
