that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
