My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I need to align my fucking chakras
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
