dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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