ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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