Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
