i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
