2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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