I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
