why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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