Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
