I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
