one two three fourrrrnication!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
