i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
