can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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