one word: firstdatebathroomanal
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
