and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
