so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
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I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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