I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize