i just google imaged poop.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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