Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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