haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
