it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Do vagina's smell?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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