If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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