It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
