I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
