At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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