I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
When are your genitals available?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
