Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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