I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
