The maid of honor just puked.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize