YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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