Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
