How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
