this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize