the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
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You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
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Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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