...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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