she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
