I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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