He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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