he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
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VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
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There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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