the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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