i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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