well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
