dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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