new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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