I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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