whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
