this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
