Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
