Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
