she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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