So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
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My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
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Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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