i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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