I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
