and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
