and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
honey bunches of taint.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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