I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
