i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
