Just mADE A PArabola og urine
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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