so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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