So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
