I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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